Naruto: The Best/Worst Show to Ever Exist

Oh boy, this is going to be a post that will leave the pads of my fingers calloused. I am way too passionate about this.

Let me set the scene:

I am six years old. I am in front of my old Gateway model computer with my brother, Ahmed. We’re both looking at the screen, enticed by what was unfolding right in front of our eyes: The Chunin Exams. Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno (“worst” girls) have simultaneously punched each other in their empty skulls, ending the round in a draw. Yikes. 

Naruto is a series that began airing on October 3rd, 2002. The first installment of the show, simply entitled Naruto went on for a little under five years, ending in early February of 2007. Kicking off a few days later, the second installment, Naruto: Shippuden began airing. The story lasted a solid ten years, cementing its place as one of the top three shonen along with Bleach and One Piece.

The reason for this? My guess is its narrative. Naruto Uzumaki is a young orphan who is a resident of the Hidden Leaf Village. His dream is to one day become the Hokage (basically like…ninja president). Despite this, he is constantly bullied and ostracized by the people of the village, being called a monster and dangerous by adults and children alike.

But why? Naruto’s body is essentially what ended the Third Great Ninja War. His late father, Minato Namikaze sealed the Nine-Tailed Fox Kurama (literally a tailed beast?! WTF) inside of Naruto’s infant body, preventing Kurama from destroying the village. Trying to save their child, Minato and Kushina Uzumaki (his mama) both die that night and the war ends.

But isn’t Naruto a hero? Didn’t his whole family save these ungrateful ass people? NOPE. AND YEAH…WHO CARES THO LOL. Naruto is now a Jinchuriki, which means he holds a tailed beast inside of his body. And uh….a lot of people have this issue lmao. Like…eight more people to be exact. BECAUSE THERE are EIGHT MORE BEASTS WHAT THE FU-

Okay. So we get the story. Naruto Uzumaki plays the role of the underdog.

But here’s where things take a turn. I’m sorry there’s gonna be a lot of curse words and asterisks but I do not care. Like it is infuriating. Obviously, Naruto is set up to be sort of the hero, “I am the good guy HAHA”, ruler of worlds. Right? So like obviously…we need like an anti-hero. My boy…Sasuke Uchiha.

This kid is a complex character in every way, shape, and form. Sasuke’s brother, Itachi ended up killing his entire clan. Sasuke is basically in the same boat as Naruto…except Sasuke is a fu**ing d***. Here’s a short list of why:

  1. He is a natural prodigy-but he’s arrogant and rude to his classmates
  2. He is unfriendly/aloof (Imani, come on. NO I DON’T CARE) we get it, you’re EdGy
  3. He is a man with one set goal: to kill Itachi and avenge his clan.
  4. Instead of working with other ninjas to become stronger, he constantly resists so he can like…be better
  5. Nitpicky but actual quote: “My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things, and I don’t particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I’m going to restore my clan, and kill a certain man.” 
  6. He is o b s s e s s e d with power it’s kinda gross at times
  7. TERRIBLE FRIEND 0/10 would not befriend again

At this point though, I’m only talking about the first installment of the series. During this long arc, a lot goes down okay. I won’t get into specifics- but here’s a rundown. Naruto is basically a walking “L” in the ninja community, he doesn’t know like any jutsu and he’s a dunce. But, he still has Kurama, which is a permanent advantage. Sasuke, on the other hand, is like a whole a** prodigy and is like “hi, watch me throw this kunai,” “I’m too cool for ninja school,” and my favorite, “I’m gonna murder my bro lmao.”

And of course, Naruto the boy is like, “wow, Sasuke is kinda a show-off, he’s my RiVal I guess???” And then boom bam the fight for who is better begins:

Who does Sakura like more? (not u, Naruto sorry!)

Who is the cooler ninja man? (not u Uzumaki! L8R SKR)

Who can learn this faster? (honestly…it depends I mean Naruto does have a lot of chakra that Sasuke just can’t obtain you know…but then again I don’t know probably not u Naruto tbh)

The work of Masashi Kishimoto is obviously one to be reckoned with, but Christ. There are several things that didn’t only annoy me BUT MADE ME ABSOLUTELY LIVID. But most of this has to do with the members of Team 7:

  1. Sakura and the Lie
  2. Naruto and the Power of the Speak
  3. Sasuke and the “I NEED POWER”

Part One: Sakura and the Lie

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Sakura Haruno has a few characteristics: she’s strong-willed, she’s mean, she’s naive, and most importantly, she loves Sasuke-Kun. UwU. But no, we need to talk about the hate she receives as a character and how most negate her physical strength as a kunoichi. The fact that she is one of the strongest females in the series does not matter because how terrible she is for the majority of the show.  This isn’t only Sakura, though. It’s all women on the show. But for argument purposes, let us use Sakura.

Sakura is a strong ninja. Or should I say: Sakura becomes a strong ninja. At the beginning of Naruto, she was actually super useless. I know that’s a meme, but in this era of the show, the statement definitely rang true. This is more seen when she does nothing in the second arc of the show in the Land of Waves Arc. She literally…just kinda sits there with the kunai. The only thing she really has going for her at this point is that she’s book smart. And that didn’t really matter, because, in the written part of the Chunin Exam, the kids were kinda supposed to utilize their powers to cheat. So…good one?

When discussing the turning point in the show, I would say it is the thirty-second episode in the original anime called, “Sakura Blossoms.” In this episode, Sakura is all alone to fend for herself. Of course, she doesn’t do anything major but she holds her own. She gets belittled by the enemy and is almost killed, but LET’S NOT FOCUS ON THAT. Let’s focus on the fact that she cut her hair and held the enemy off long enough until Team 10 (Jake Paul and Gang ) arrives.

Why is this important though? During this time in the anime, Sakura is self-aware of how little she does for Team 7. She always feels like she is the one who never carries her weight saying, “I always say that I like Sasuke. I always act like I know everything and lecture Naruto. I always just watch them from behind.” So, she vows to herself that she will be the one that will be watched one day. It’s this self-awareness that prevents Sakura from being a badly written character. She sees her shortcomings and decides to work on it so she can be a valuable member of Team 7.

This is also a big change because Sakura is a character that was very concerned with about how she looked. In fact, it was Ino who encouraged her to embrace her features. (to be exact…her forehead.) When they both liked the same guy, they became rivals, with Sakura choosing to grow her hair because “Sasuke LoVeS gIrLs WiTh LoNg HaIr.” But when she cuts off that hair, she chooses to put her life as a shinobi and respect as an individual over her long quest to be Sasuke’s lady.

And the worst of this: Sakura becomes a terrible person. She is the one who was made fun of for her insanely humongous forehead, and she uses her newfound popularity with the boys (thanks headband) to bully. The victim of this? The butt of every joke? None other than Naruto Uzumaki, who was alone (just like her) in the beginning. And some may think I’m exaggerating, but she really is terrible. On the first day of being on Team 7, she bad mouths Naruto, saying “Think about it. He just does whatever comes into his head. But if you don’t have parents to tell you, how would you know? He’s selfish and bratty, he’s all alone.”

The only reasons she shuts up is when Sasuke comes for her throat, telling her she was annoying and explaining what it’s like to be alone (because you know…rip). Only because Sasuke thinks what she’s saying is wrong, does she pull back and begins changing her opinion on him.

Speaking of this quest for Sasuke, Sakura actually kind of became more of a manipulative snake in Shippuden am I right? Although Sakura is smart and somewhat of an established ninja at this point, she still pines over Sasuke in a pathetic kind of way. Sasuke at this point of the series…is basically off the rails. So Naruto, having a big man crush  a strong love for friendship goes after Sasuke. But to stop him, Sakura uses something against Naruto that can be used to her advantage-Naruto’s incessant love for her. She uses a false confession to both “rid Naruto of his burden” and save Sasuke? From who? From himself? WhaT?

So Naruto obviously, sees this snake for what she is….uh a snake. And says, “I don’t love no THOTS” and gets yeeted into the Kamui dimension. I wish. But this is what made me lose most of my respect for Sakura. She had a lot going for her: some training from Lady Tsunade, some use as a ninja, I don’t know… self-respect? But here, it’s clear that Sakura has no qualms about anyone but herself. Her ridiculous fantasy of being the one Sasuke chooses, her petty wish to win in her rivalry against Ino, her attachment to one of the most complicated **daddies** in the show-Sasuke.

But why? In the beginning, it seemed like Sakura only liked Sasuke for his killer good looks…but over time it is clear that she wants to help him through his pain. Sasuke however, puts any relationship at the end of his priority list. I mean…he is a character with a lot of pent up anger and ruthlessness, and this is something that Sakura fails to acknowledge. It’s almost like she acts like it’s not there.

“The truth is.. I’ve always known in my heart, there was nothing I could have done for you. But I love you..!! No matter what’s happened, I still care for you more than I can bear.. If I could had taken all your pain… onto myself to comfort you, I would have.. and here we are again, and still all I can do is sit here and cry. …I’m so pathetic..! But.. Sasuke-kun! If I still have a place in your heart, no matter how small it may be.. then please.. I’m begging you, don’t slip away any further..! If we just all stayed together.. forever.. Then I’m sure.. some day.. things would go back to how they used to be..”

I believe after saying this, he tries killing her.

But it’s Sakura’s constant push for love that was unrequited that ended up hurting her as a ninja. On multiple occasions, she has shown that her feelings rule over her logic, a fatal flaw in many of Naruto‘s characters. But Sakura time and time again tries putting her own life in danger to “save” Sasuke, to “help” Sasuke, to shoot her goddamn shot. Frankly, if she wanted his respect, she would’ve worked harder to become even stronger without him. To work hard so she could’ve been able to fight on her own.

Sidenote- but why do the creators of the show constantly go back to the scene where Sasuke is going to leave the Hidden Leaf Village? The one where Sakura goes to stop him and he literally knocks her ass out unconscious? Is that not a fucking warning sign? The way of the shinobi that serious? He definitely could’ve just…ourtun her. Like damn.

But where many people get Sakura’s character wrong is when compared to the Konoha 11. In Swagkage’s video, he explains how she doesn’ t stack up to any members. The flaw in this argument is that Sakura has nothing to build on. All of the Konoha 11 and the sand boys have a Kekkei Genkai or tailed beast or special ability that pushes them above the rest

  1. Naruto: Kurama- Nine-Tailed Beast (whole lotta chakra)
  2. Sasuke: Member of the Uchiha Clan- known for their Sharingan
  3. Choji: Eat pilly butterfly boy
  4. Ino: Mind Transfer
  5. Shikamaru: Shadow Possession also amazing strategic ability (thanks, Shoji)
  6. Hinata: Hyuga
  7. Neji: Hyuga
  8. Gaara: Shukaku- One-Tailed beast (whole lotta sand)
  9. Temari: Wind Justsu
  10. Rock Lee: trained with Guy-knows the 8 gates
  11. Ten-Ten: Weapons…I guess
  12. Kiba and Akamaru: Fang over Fang Gang whole lotta dog shit

What does Sakura get? Nothing. She gets a kunai and is sent off on her way. How can she be of any use when she just isn’t born special? The Haruno clan is never mentioned in the series. She has nothing but her kunai, nothing but the reality that she isn’t good enough. Fortunately, this is what pushes her to find that ability that can make her special. And that was training with Lady Tsunade and becoming stronger than her by the end of the war.

From where she began, a useless ninja with nothing but a kunai and a love for Sasuke, she became…the baddie with the bad haircut. She became the student who learned medical ninjutsu with Lady Tsunade. She became the fighter who worked with Lady Chiyo to kill Sasori. Lastly, though-she finally became a useful member of Team 7 who fought to be one of the best- to finally *somewhat* compare to her comrades who began LEAGUES ABOVE HER.